My Wife Hates My Xbox

SO SAY WE ALL!!!

Fuck the inauguration.  If you're not staying in tonight to watch the beginning of the end, you've got psychological problems and need to be hospitalized.

If you missed any of the first four seasons (and, again, if you did, what's wrong with you?) then this little primer might help.

Behold, My Childhood

OMFG, when I saw this my eyes started to well up.  I have never met anybody in any of these photos, but these could easily have been photos taken at Casa de Crouton as I was growing up.  The Death Star playset!  The Empire Strikes Back trade paperback!  Those t-shirts! 

As disenchanted as I've become with George Lucas, I have to thank him for defining what I remember as a joyful, geeky childhood...

Burnout: Revenge (no, not the game)

...although the game is freakin' awesome, even three years later...

No, I'm talking about the massive hours of gaming committed during the holiday break.  I took 10 days off work between Christmas Eve and New Years, and I logged so much game time I could hear my Xbox coughing and weezing from the pressure (I kept glancing up to make sure its eye wasn't getting bloodshot)  I was up 'til 2 AM almost every night...my wife REALLY hated my Xbox last week.

In my defense, I accomplished a lot:

• Finally finished Mass Effect (level 50 Paragon, including "Bring Down the Sky," although I missed some easy achievements)
• Unlocked a ton of tunes on Rock Band 2 and the AC/DC track pack, with some help from our newest contributor
• Was on level 8 of Horde mode on Gears of War 2 when my internet kicked me out.  Bastard.
• Found the first of the three heroes I need to discover in Fable II
• Had my daughter demanding to play any game in which she could hold a microphone and sing "Hungry Like the Wolf"

The problem, aside from sacrificing any sexual attractiveness I might have for two weeks, was that I'm now sorta spent.  I actually could have played the last couple nights but opted to watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia on DVD (funniest show on television) and Dr. Horrible's Musical Blog (which...I don't know, I like Nathan Fillion and Neil Patrick Harris and all, but the singing...meh).  I caught some football!  And I have to admit the sleep has been rather nice.  

It's weird...I'd gotten so used to squeezing gaming into every spare minute I could get that having more than I needed feels weird.  I might actually read or something.

Then again, I never did get that Horde achievement.  And I just remembered I'd left off Half-Life 2 in the middle.  And I could replay Mass Effect and try to get level 60...

Honey, why don't you go to sleep now...you look tired...

New Year. New Blogger. New Way to Watch Movies.

Hello. My name is Tom. And my wife hates my Xbox. (wait for a few people in the crowd to say "Hi Tom!") Recently I was out to dinner with croutonboy and he talked me into blogging on his site. Because my wife hates my Xbox. Did I mention that already?

But I'm trying to make her love it. Key to that quest is the new Netflix service on Xbox live.

"Now anyone with an Xbox Live Gold account and a Netflix membership can watch movies instantly on their Xbox," I tell her. She stares at me.

"The quality is amazing," I continue, unabated. "And it's super easy to add movies. Just go to our Netflix account on the computer and click on the Watch Instantly button under any movie."

"Any movie?" she quickly jabs.

"Well, okay," I say. "Not any movie. Most of them are the lame ones right now. But look, here's The Assassination of Richard Nixon. Remember how we loved Sean Penn in Milk? This is probably just as good."

She's giving in, I can tell. So I move to demonstration mode.

"Look, movies show up almost instantly on your xbox queue. And you can begin watching. You get an unlimited amount of watch instantly movies with your netflix account."

"Wow," she says. "But do we have to watch them in the basement? The lights down here stink."

So after a trip to Home Depot to get some soft white fluorescent bulbs, I am one step closer to my wife not hating my xbox. And then I go and hit play on The Assassination of Richard Nixon.

Oops.

Xbox Live Gold and Netflix account required. You must sign up on xbox live and get an activation code before you can start watching movies. The whole process takes about ten minutes. Not including the talk with the wife and the trip to Home Depot.

Good luck.

gamer tag: tchristmann