If any of you fans of the classic Civilization PC games are wondering if the new console version, Civilization: Revolution, is as engrossing and addictive as its forebears, let me answer with a warning:
Do not, under any circumstances, play this game on a school night.
I'm in a fog today, a shuffling zombie of a man. I keep eying the corner of my office, calculating if I can curl up for a nap there without being noticed, or if I should just go out to the park and lay down in the grass for a couple hours.
What is it about these games that make them impossible to stop playing?
Sure, it's more streamlined than Civ IV, with less micromanagement and fewer choices to make, but apparently getting a stone-age tribe to conquer the globe takes longer than a couple hours no matter how you slice it.
"One more turn," I'd tell myself. "Just one more turn. Then I'm definitely saving and going to sleep."
I was the French, and I was maybe two turns away from winning a cultural victory when those damn Arabs, who had somehow acquired space travel from the Japanese and had fought off my marauding armies long enough to fill their vaults with gold, landed on Alpha Centauri. TWO TURNS AWAY!!! You don't win any achievements for coming in second, god dammit.
And as I started shutting down the system I looked up at the clock, knowing full well it was a little late.
4:45 AM.
In two hours, my daughter would be waking me up.
Every. Fucking. Time.
So congrats, Sid, on once again exploiting your secret formula to deprive me of my well-deserved sleep. You may laugh at my addiction like some digital smack peddler, but us working kids can't afford to indulge in this beautiful, enthralling diversions. We have lives...we have responsibilities...
But....
...how can I possibly resist the diabolical urge to play this game which could obliterate my very existence?
Will my tortuned mind give in to it's uncontrollable desires?
Can I withstand the temptation to play the game that, even now, beckons me ever closer?
Will I succumb to the maddening urge to eradicate my career and my physical well-being at the mere insertion of a single game disk?
The beautiful, sniny game disk....
The jolly, candy-like game disk....
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