The Internet Will Be Waiting

No sooner do I let the world (or at least the 6 people who read my other blog) know about this site than I go on vacation for a few days. I was up in the Colorado mountains, looking wistfully at the gorgeous white powder on the slopes and the quiet chairlifts, abandoned because it was "the end of the season." Still, it was nice to get away, and the wife and I had a quiet, relaxing weekend in a virtually abandoned resort town.

I did, however, have my computer with me. I had thought to myself, "Self, you should write a blog while you're out here. What else are you going to do with your time? Aside from having quality-time with your wife, of course. That only takes three and a half minutes, anyway..." But I didn't.

I didn't not because I couldn't. I had wireless access and lots of time. I didn't because I knew I shouldn't. If I couldn't break the sweet, Siren-like spell of the internet, I would know that I would be forever lost, my soul mortgaged at 54 Mbps.

If I couldn't keep myself from checking e-mails, monitoring my Twitter account, updating my RSS feeds, reading my Facebook inbox, and refreshing PopURLs every three minutes while in a beautiful place for a romantic weekend, I would know for certain that I would be one of the first people eaten after the Apocalypse. What good would I be to the survivors if I was only functional near WiFi hot-spots?

And I did it! I'm quite proud of myself. It was like 1992 all over again, except without the grunge.

I had some help, though. Just days before departing, the fine fellows at South Park Studios had broadcast one of their finest works of satire, and it struck deep into my CPU. They shamed me--and many of us--by exposing just how pathetic we could be without our internet. And they were right...freakishly so.

If you missed it, or gave up after season 7, or just never got into crude animation, I beg you...nay, I plead with you...to watch this and ask yourself, "Is that not me? Am I not that addicted? Would I not go to Starbucks and then the Apple Store, too, were that to happen?"

Think about it. Think.....about....it..... (echo echo echo)

Comments

[Whit]

That shit could happen. My job is 100% internet, if it went I'd have to leave the house and put on pants.

Seems like someone should be using this to their advantage.